


Marred

by janetcarter



Category: His Dark Materials (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Introspection, Motherhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23922811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janetcarter/pseuds/janetcarter
Summary: If she hadn't taken Lyra in, she wouldn't have had to lose her once more.
Relationships: Lyra Belacqua & Marisa Coulter
Kudos: 27
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Marred

**Author's Note:**

> For the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "Don't Let Them See You Cry."
> 
> I haven't read the books. I just watched the show, caught some gay for Coulter, and thought too much about her relationship with Lyra for anyone's good.

The intrusion and vulnerability of a daemon was almost as inconvenient as the Magisterium's misogyny. Maybe more, really, because at least men were begging to be fooled. Her daemon, on the other hand, always saw beneath her mask. He was beneath it with her, actually, acting as a constant reminder of everything she worked to bury.

She had tried to keep her distance from Lyra for a reason. It was easier, _so much easier,_ to keep the wreckage of the past where it belonged _._ But when the Master approached her she was intrigued. It was a chance to elevate a young woman to greatness, and not just any young woman - one with her own potential brimming in that bright, shining smile. However, something about it had been all too much like Asriel's. She tried to ignore it, focusing instead on her dark hair and the curve of her nose and the extraordinary things she could accomplish with the proper guidance.

As the rest of the brandy slid down her throat, she slammed the cup against her desk. She was foolish to have not denied the Master's request. Losing Lyra once had been difficult enough, but she'd carried on. She'd _managed._ But losing her a second time, watching the damn girl _run_ from the woman who gave her everything… Old, neglected wounds tore open and choked her on the blood of the past fourteen years.

She glared at her daemon. He scampered away at the warning and folded himself into the vents.

Head in her hands, she failed to choke back tears.

Once they began, they never did cease.


End file.
